Trust is the foundation of any relationship. So when I discovered my boyfriend had been having weekly lunch dates with his ex — and never told me — everything I thought we had began to crumble.
It wasn’t like I went digging through his phone looking for trouble. One day, while he was getting us coffee, his phone buzzed on the table. A notification popped up that read: “Don’t forget our lunch today! 😊”
I didn’t think much of it at first — until I saw the name attached to the message: her .
His ex-girlfriend.
My stomach dropped.
At first, I convinced myself there was an innocent explanation. Maybe they worked together? Maybe it was just friendly?
But when I confronted him later that night, the truth hit harder than I expected.
He admitted it — yes, they met every week for lunch. No, it wasn’t work-related. And no, he didn’t tell me because “it didn’t seem important.”
I was stunned.
I asked why — why keep it a secret? Why meet so often? What could possibly require weekly lunches with someone he claimed meant nothing to him anymore?
His answer?
“She’s my best friend.”
That stung.
I stayed quiet for a moment, trying to process what I was hearing. Then I asked the question that really mattered:
“Would you be okay if I had weekly lunches with my ex?”
He hesitated. Then said, “That’s different.”
And right then, I knew we were standing on very shaky ground.
The conversation spiraled into hours of back-and-forth. He insisted there was “nothing going on,” that their bond was “just emotional,” and that she understood he was with me now.
But none of that erased the betrayal I felt.
What hurt the most wasn’t just the secrecy — it was the lack of consideration. If something like this could affect me, shouldn’t he have respected how I’d feel before making the choice to hide it?
We took a break after that night.
Not because I wanted to end things — but because I needed time to figure out if I could rebuild trust with someone who chose silence over honesty.
Because love should never come with secrets that big.