Anna, 50, wrote a heartfelt letter to our editorial team, sharing a painful story that we felt compelled to publish in hopes of offering her some guidance and comfort. Anna shared, “My daughter has three children, and I’ve always been the go-to babysitter without hesitation. At a recent family dinner, my sister called me a ‘cool parent and grandma.’ To my shock, my daughter immediately stood up and said, ‘No, she’s not!’
What happened next broke my heart. I never imagined my daughter and son-in-law would have such disrespectful feelings toward me.” Anna had always been there for her daughter, especially during difficult times. She explained, “A little background: I raised my daughter alone after her husband left when she was three. I worked two jobs, took night classes, and sacrificed everything — dating, vacations, and even basic rest — to give her a good childhood.
But as she got older, she resented me for not being around. I tried to explain that every moment I wasn’t with her was spent working to give her opportunities like dance lessons, a nice home, and everything she needed. But to her, I was still absent.” When her daughter became a mother, Anna once again dropped everything. She left her part-time job to help care for the baby, do housework, and offer emotional support. When the twins came, Anna continued her selfless care without hesitation.
“But perhaps,” Anna thought, “I complained too much about being tired. Maybe she mistook my exhaustion for resentment. Maybe she couldn’t forgive me for my past.” Anna described the painful family event: “At a large gathering, when my sister called me a ‘cool mom and grandma,’ my daughter stood up, her face cold, and said, ‘No, she’s not!’”
At first, Anna thought it was a joke, but her daughter’s expression was serious — even angry. Anna asked, “Did I do something wrong?” Her daughter looked her in the eye and said, “You pretend to help, but you make me feel guilty. You act like a saint to everyone else, but behind closed doors, you complain about being exhausted and how much we rely on you. I’d rather hire a stranger to babysit than deal with your guilt trips.”
It felt like the world had shifted beneath Anna’s feet. Her daughter meant every word. To make matters worse, her son-in-law chimed in: “Honestly, you make it seem like everything you’ve done for us is a huge favor. It makes us feel burdened, not like family.” He said this casually, as though Anna should have known. To him, her love had become an obligation.
Anna stumbled to the kitchen for support, her heart breaking. Her sister quietly followed and asked, “Are you okay?” Anna whispered, “I still am not.”