A young couple who met while working at the same company discovered a huge pay gap between them before getting engaged. After the proposal, the woman expressed her desire to quit her job, sparking debate online—many labeled her a gold-digger. But her fiancé insists that’s not the case.
The 30-year-old man, a tech researcher, turned to Reddit’s AITAH community for advice. He met his 26-year-old fiancée at a work event over two years ago. He was immediately taken with her, and they’ve had a strong relationship ever since. He admired her skills in marketing, especially how organized she was—a trait he appreciated due to his struggles with ADD.
Eventually, she moved in with him. That’s when finances came up for the first time, and she was shocked to learn he made 15 times more than her. He offered to cover their shared expenses and encouraged her to save for her paused student loans. Though he owned his apartment, she still wanted to contribute, and they split costs proportionally based on income—a system that worked well.
A month before his post, he proposed. Despite not being materialistic before, she asked for a $15,000 diamond ring. He hesitated but gave in when she convinced him it was something she’d wear forever. However, she often brought up the ring’s cost in conversations, which made him uncomfortable, even after he asked her to stop.
Things escalated when she told him she planned to quit her job within the month, claiming she needed time to plan the wedding. He was stunned. She said she was exhausted from long work hours and wanted to be a “stay-at-home fiancée.” He laughed and said that wasn’t a real thing, especially since she still had student loans.
She argued they were a team now and that her income was insignificant compared to his. When asked what she’d do after the wedding, she admitted she hadn’t thought that far ahead. He suggested a short break instead, expressing discomfort with her abandoning her career so young—especially since they weren’t planning kids anytime soon. He wanted her to remain financially independent in case something happened to him.
Their disagreement turned into a full-blown argument. She thought he was being cruel for wanting her to keep working when they could afford otherwise. While he admitted her quitting wouldn’t hurt them financially, something about it didn’t sit right.
Reddit users weighed in, many accusing her of being a gold-digger. One user claimed she was setting him up for a life of one-sided financial responsibility, and another warned she’d never return to work and would demand more luxuries over time.
In a follow-up post, the man explained that he later approached the conversation more calmly. Over dinner, he asked again why she wanted to quit. She confessed she felt burnt out and that her work felt pointless since she barely contributed financially. She also felt overwhelmed with wedding planning and said she wanted to do it from a “happy place,” not while drained.
She reassured him she planned to find a new job with better hours after their honeymoon and even mentioned going back to school for a Master’s degree. She said she didn’t want to be a trophy wife—she just needed a break.
He accepted her explanation and thought the compromise was fair, though she still intended to resign that week. He admitted he understood why people saw red flags, especially since he grew up poor and avoided flaunting his wealth.
He also acknowledged that the expensive ring made him uncomfortable, but noted that many of his colleagues’ partners wore similar ones. Still, commenters remained skeptical.
One wrote, “As soon as she learned how much he made, the dollar signs appeared. She doesn’t care about his opinion and just wants the lifestyle.” Others urged him to get a prenup, warning that she likely wouldn’t return to work. Another user questioned her long-term goals beyond the wedding, pointing out that her current plan was to simply “exist.”
One person criticized the man’s mention that his parents wanted him to marry this year, saying it made him seem less mature. Others sarcastically suggested he hire a wedding planner instead of funding her lifestyle.
The general sentiment? Proceed with caution—and don’t skip the prenup.
