A Highway Patrolman Pulls Over a Motorist for Speeding

It was the height of summer, the sun beating down mercilessly on the open highway, when a Highway Patrolman flagged down a driver who had been flying well past the posted speed limit. Heat shimmered above the asphalt in wavering waves, and the officer stood beside the car, squinting behind dark sunglasses as he began writing out the citation. As he worked, a relentless swarm of flies buzzed around his head, darting near his ears and face, forcing him to swat at the air in mounting irritation.

“Circle flies are really bad this year, aren’t they?” the motorist remarked casually, watching the patrolman’s ongoing battle with the insects.

“Yeah,” the officer replied, glancing around. “If that’s what these are, you’re probably right. But honestly, I’ve never heard of circle flies before. What exactly does that mean?”

The driver grinned. “Well, circle flies are a type that’s especially fond of horses. They hover and circle around a horse’s rear end constantly. That’s how they got their name.”

The patrolman lifted an eyebrow as the implication sank in. “Oh really? That’s interesting. But the way you’re describing it, it sounds like you might be suggesting I resemble a horse’s rear end. You wouldn’t be hinting at that about a law enforcement officer, would you?”

“Oh no, sir!” the motorist said quickly, shaking his head. “Not at all! I respect law enforcement completely. I would never even think of implying something like that. I’m very sorry if it sounded that way.”

“Yeah, I didn’t think so,” the officer muttered, returning to his writing.

The driver leaned back slightly, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “Still… you know there’s just no fooling those circle flies, is there?”

The patrolman paused, then let out a reluctant chuckle, shaking his head as he handed over the ticket while the flies continued their relentless orbit.

Meanwhile, on another stretch of road, a woman driving with her husband was pulled over by a police officer. Clearly flustered, she rolled down her window and immediately blurted out, “I’m in a hurry, officer!”

“I understand, ma’am,” he replied calmly, “but I have to ticket anyone over 55.”

The woman gasped dramatically, throwing her hands up. “That’s discrimination!” she protested.

The officer tilted his head slightly. “Ma’am, I’m referring to the speed limit, not your age.”

Embarrassed, she huffed quietly, realizing her mistake, and drove away muttering under her breath.

In another situation, an officer stopped a woman on a quiet neighborhood street and asked for her license. After examining it, he frowned. “Ma’am, it says here you’re required to wear glasses while driving.”

She replied quickly, “Well, I have contacts!”

Without missing a beat, the officer shot back, “I don’t care who you know—you’re still getting a ticket!”

She sighed, handing over her license, realizing excuses wouldn’t change the outcome.

Finally, a young driver was pulled over for speeding. The officer approached the car and leaned into the window.

“I’ve been waiting for you all day,” he said with a smirk.

The kid, trying to stay composed, shot back, “Yeah, well, I got here as fast as I could!”

The officer burst out laughing so hard he had to step back, bracing himself against the patrol car. After a moment, still chuckling, he waved the kid off. “Alright, go on—but slow it down next time.”

The kid drove away grinning, relieved to have escaped with nothing more than a warning.

This retelling keeps each joke intact while adding extra narrative detail and smoother transitions, expanding the scenes without losing the humor or the punchlines that make each moment land.