If Someone Asks “How Are You?”, It Isn’t Always Wise to Answer Fully — A Reflection Inspired by Carl Jung

Imagine stepping outside early in the morning. The air is cool against your skin. You reach into your bag — and instead of coins or bills, you find it filled with fine, glittering gold dust.

That gold represents your life energy.

Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung spoke of this as psychic energy — the inner force that allows you to think, create, love, work, remain patient, and protect your inner balance. It is the fuel of the soul.

Now consider this: if someone stopped you on the street and casually asked what you were carrying, would you pour your gold onto the ground just to be polite?

Of course you wouldn’t.

Yet people do this symbolically every day — revealing their worries, ambitions, finances, or achievements to anyone who casually asks, “How are you?”

Below are several reflections, drawn from depth psychology, on how to preserve your emotional and mental energy.

1. The “Personal Fog”: Avoid Specific Figures

Modern culture revolves around numbers:

How much do you earn?
How much did your house cost?
What did you pay for your car?
How much have you invested?

These questions are often less about interest and more about comparison.

If your number is small, you may face judgment.
If it’s large, you may spark envy.

Instead of offering precise details, keep your answers broad:

“Enough to live comfortably.”
“A decent amount.”
“Nothing extreme, but I’m satisfied.”

You’re not being evasive — you’re safeguarding your privacy.

2. Humanizing Your Achievements

Visible success can create invisible tension.

When others see your life as perfect, they may project their frustrations onto you — through distance, criticism, or quiet resentment.

So when you share accomplishments, include the effort behind them:

If you were promoted, mention the extra workload.
If you bought a home, talk about the upkeep.
If you traveled, acknowledge the fatigue too.

This isn’t complaining — it’s grounding your story in reality.
Perfection creates distance. Authenticity builds connection.

3. The “Gray Stone” Method for Toxic Interactions

Some people feed on emotional reactions:

Constant criticism
Passive-aggressive comments
Provocation
Pointless arguments

Responding emotionally only fuels them.

Instead, become neutral — like a gray stone:

Short replies
No drama
No explanations
No debates

Examples:

“Maybe.”
“That’s possible.”
“I’ll think about it.”

Without emotional engagement, conflict often dissolves.

4. Redirecting Excessive Praise

Sincere compliments are healthy.
But exaggerated admiration can sometimes conceal:

Manipulation
Unrealistic expectations
Competitive comparison

Rather than rejecting praise or letting it inflate your ego, reflect it with balance:

“Thank you — I had great support.”
“I appreciate that. I was lucky to have help.”

You accept kindness without being elevated to an unrealistic pedestal.

5. The “Closed Container” in Times of Crisis

During periods such as:

Illness
Surgery
Emotional grief
Psychological strain

You need inward focus.

Sharing every detail publicly can invite:

Other people’s fears
Speculation
Unwanted advice
Emotional pressure

Healing often requires containment.
Not everyone needs access to your most vulnerable moments.

6. The Strength of Saying “No” Without Explanation

Many people decline requests — then immediately justify themselves.

This creates two issues:

You appear defensive.
You open the door to persuasion.

A calm refusal is enough:

“I can’t.”
“That doesn’t work for me.”
“I’ll pass.”

No apology. No lengthy reasoning.
Clear boundaries earn respect.

7. The Power of Allowing Imperfection

When success appears flawless, it can create distance.
Total perfection often triggers unconscious resistance in others.

Leave space for a small, honest imperfection:

“Yes, the car is great — though it uses a lot of fuel.”
“I’m proud of the outcome, even if the process was tough.”

You’re not diminishing your achievement — you’re keeping it human.

8. The Modern Trap: Sharing Everything Online

There’s a psychological mechanism at work:

When you announce a goal before completing it, your brain releases dopamine — as though success has already happened.

That early reward can reduce motivation.

It also invites:

Premature criticism
Doubt
External pressure

A wiser strategy:

Share results — not unfinished journeys.

Diploma earned, not enrollment posted.
House built, not plans announced.
Goal achieved, not merely declared.

Silence preserves energy.

Final Reflections

Not every question deserves a detailed response.

Discretion isn’t secrecy — it’s emotional intelligence.

Keep meaningful plans within trusted circles.
Avoid exposing deep emotions to casual listeners.
Notice whether curiosity is sincere or comparative.

Your inner energy is valuable.

Real strength doesn’t require constant display.
It develops quietly — protected by boundaries and intentional privacy.

Guarding your inner world doesn’t mean isolating yourself.
It means choosing carefully who is allowed inside.