An elderly farmer surrounded by circling flies

An elderly farmer was driving along with a wagon full of manure when a state trooper pulled him over.

“You were speeding,” the officer said. “I’m going to have to write you a ticket.”

“Yep,” the farmer replied calmly, watching as the trooper waved away several buzzing flies.

“These flies are awful,” the trooper muttered, swatting at them.

“Yep,” the farmer said again. “Those are circle flies.”

“Circle flies?” the trooper asked. “What are those?”

“They’re the kind of flies that circle a horse’s rear end,” the farmer explained. “Those are circle flies.”

The trooper scowled. “Are you calling me a horse’s rear end?”

“Nope,” the farmer answered. “Didn’t say that at all. But those flies sure know where to gather.”

Jacob’s Classroom Riddles

A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day when his teacher walked past. He raised his hand and asked her a question.

“How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?” Jacob asked.

The teacher paused. “I’m not sure. How do you do it?”

Jacob grinned. “You open the fridge door and put the elephant inside.”

Then he asked another question. “How do you put a giraffe into the refrigerator?”

The teacher smiled confidently. “I know this one. You open the door and put it in.”

Jacob shook his head. “Nope. First you open the door, take the elephant out, and then put the giraffe in.”

Next, Jacob asked, “All the animals went to the lion’s birthday party, but one animal didn’t show up. Which one was it?”

The teacher thought for a moment. “The lion?”

“No,” Jacob replied. “The giraffe — he’s still stuck in the refrigerator.”

Finally, Jacob asked one last question. “If you come to a river full of alligators and need to get across, how do you do it?”

The teacher answered, “You cross using a bridge.”

Jacob laughed. “Nope. You swim across, because all the alligators are at the lion’s birthday party!”