In a candid moment, Michelle Obama shared how a tough parenting decision put her and Barack on opposite sides — highlighting the emotional weight of raising kids.
On the June 25, 2025, episode of IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, the former First Lady reflected on a disagreement with her husband over how to get their baby to sleep through the night. Joined by psychologist Jonathan Haidt, Michelle described how she reluctantly stepped back and let Barack handle something she found too painful.
Jonathan had mentioned how he and his wife used a sleep-training strategy known as “Ferberizing” — a method that teaches babies to self-soothe by letting them cry for short, increasing intervals before being comforted. Michelle admitted they used the same technique for their daughters.
“I didn’t want to go through with it,” she confessed. “Barack handled it. I couldn’t bear to do it myself because the idea of letting this tiny person you adore just cry and cry… it was heartbreaking.”
The sound of her baby’s cries was so difficult that she would cover her ears at night while Barack stayed up, handling the process. Despite her reservations, the training worked faster than she’d expected.
“It was done within a week — really just after the first couple of nights because we started when she was pretty young,” Michelle recalled, explaining they began after weaning at around four or five months old.
Haidt agreed and emphasized how important it is for babies to learn to fall back asleep independently, as waking during the night is a normal part of a baby’s sleep pattern.
The Obamas, married since 1992, have long balanced parenthood with demanding careers and the pressures of public life. Throughout various podcast episodes, Michelle has reflected on how deeply emotional and ongoing the work of parenting is.
In an earlier episode aired June 19, Michelle spoke with radio personality Angie Martinez about the ever-present worry that comes with being a parent. Angie recalled how she used to check her baby’s breathing at night, overwhelmed by the constant anxiety.
Michelle agreed, adding, “That worry — it’s forever. It never ends, no matter how old they are.”
She noted that parenting is a lifelong responsibility and not something everyone is prepared for. “It takes resilience,” she said plainly.
In a separate conversation from May 14, Michelle discussed the difficult but necessary role of allowing children to face consequences. “It’s so hard, watching them make a mistake you could see coming,” she admitted. But she firmly believes it’s vital for kids to experience and learn from missteps — whether it’s going to the doctor after getting hurt or realizing not to repeat the error.
She emphasized that, over time, it’s crucial for parents to grant children increasing independence while remaining close enough to support them if they stumble. At the same time, she said, her daughters always know they can turn to their parents in moments of true struggle — and be met with understanding rather than judgment.