When I first started dating my fiancé, one of the things that made me fall in love with him was how he always had my back — even when it came to his own mother.
His mom is a strong personality. She’s opinionated, used to getting her way, and doesn’t handle disagreement well. Over the years, she and I have had our differences, especially when it came to how we raised our kids or handled family events.
But every time there was a conflict, my fiancé stood by me. Without hesitation. He’d say things like, “You’re my partner now,” or “We’re a team.” It made me feel safe and supported, knowing he wouldn’t let anyone — not even his own mom — disrespect me.
That changed recently.
It started small. During a family dinner, his mom made a passive-aggressive comment about something I cooked. Normally, he would’ve shut it down immediately. This time, he just laughed it off.
Then it happened again. She criticized how I handled a situation with our daughter, and instead of backing me up, he said, “Maybe she does need to think about it differently.”
I was stunned.
Later that night, I brought it up. Why had he sided with her? Was I suddenly not the priority anymore?
He got defensive. Said I was being too sensitive. That maybe his mom wasn’t always wrong. That I should “try to see where she’s coming from more often.”
We ended up having a long, emotional conversation. And what I realized was… somewhere along the way, things had shifted. He started feeling like I was always pushing his mom away — like I didn’t respect her enough.
But the truth is, I’ve always tried to be respectful. I just needed space to make decisions as a parent and as his partner without constant judgment.
What hurt the most wasn’t the argument itself — it was realizing that the person who always had my back no longer felt like he could.
And that shook the foundation of our relationship in a way I never expected.
Now we’re both trying to figure out how to find balance — between us, and with his mom. It’s not easy, but we know it’s worth working on.
Because love means choosing each other — even when family gets in the way.